two poems

alot going on... two little phhtt poems for you that i word vomited out


Too busy to check the computer,
Too busy to answer my phone
Too busy to see who’s at the door
Too busy to get stoned
I’m busy brushing my teeth
Brushing my teeth furiously To rid my mouth of the scent of you
Your voice still echoing and bouncing around my absent mind
I taste the blood from my gums and put my weapon away
Leave the cold room with too many mirrors
Showing too many reflections of me,
Every single one of them alone




I’m a certain kind of odd
The kind that doesn’t cry
I go for long drives
I’m a certain kind of crazy
Painting, drawing, writing
Angry sarcastic laughing
I’m a certain kind of insane
Too picky and too open
Too forgiving and too lost
I’m a certain kind of something
Looking for a certain kind of understanding
To let me be free to be
Wonderfully mentally gone

tight rope

On the edge of healing and disaster
I’ve been trapped once again
The poison complacency is creeping in faster
One more pill, my saving godsend
Clawing at my heels, dragging, pulling me back
Back to the hell made just for me
Calling so sweetly, that pleasing attack
Reminding me how simple, how easy it would be
To succumb and be captured again.
Hello my name is Glutton,
I stuff myself with pain
I gorge myself with heartbreak
One more serving of contempt
One more bite of filth, I can fit just one more.
And it’s late late at night again
Now it’s early early morning
Sun rises like clockwork, ticking ticking on
Reminding that now is the time to act awake
Headache tasts like coffee and sugar
Now is the time to work,
Can they sense the nothing
The empty swirling around inside
Now is the time to crawl along
Stuck in traffic, stuck in the house
Stuck in the room, Stuck in my thoughts
The sun sets like clockwork
Taking reason with him
Leaving me alone with my demons again
Walking that tightrope between
Healing and Disaster, that battle
I fight alone.

bloop

Look out, far at the line where earth and sky greet
Look up at where heave peeps through, seeking eyes meet
Look down at the mud as it sucks at your feet
Look out, my love, look out but never look in
Within lie the terrors, the horror the me
Beneath the beast, and she sees.
Eyes, eyes looking down at me
Eyes I feel, eyes I can’t see
The empty inside, the fiddlers three
No longer singing, hang in the tree
My life stands still, my brain frozen,
I once lived free, now by hell I was chosen
You demon so clever so perfect so smooth and
I fell I fall I crawl I can’t fight
Born in muck and pain and pride
Leviathan within, bursting forth, I cry
The beast taken over, please everybody hide
Away in my little corner of shadow
Your face, eyes, hands follow
Drowning I am in water so shallow
My neck, like yours, made for the gallows
And we’ll swing swing away, my love
Sail sail away to the deserter cove
Away with happiness, the peace dove
Fear raining down, electic air rising
Night and despair the hellish pair
Whisper forever. Strong in my ear
My baby, give in to the fear
O and pain much worse than living
Is knowing that you face is now
sweet memory
The day I died, you were set free